This years E3 has been a bit of a let down. All three companies had their "grand ball" of press announcements, and each managed to fail to impress.
Nintendo failed the hardest, with their biggest announcements consisting of another crappy Guitar Hero game for the DS, and a bunch of games we already knew were in the works. The closest thing they had to a highlight was the Animal Crossing exhibition, and showing off yet another peripherial (Motionplus) that they expect us all to buy for our system. As if they hadn't already shoved enough hardware down our throats with the release of the wii-shitty-crossbow atachment, the wii-shitty-steering-wheel atatchment, and the wii-scale-plus-mini-games, they now expect us to buy a Motionplus for each and every Wii mote that we have, so that we can experience true 1:1 motion tracking. Call me a stickler, but that seems a lot like saying, "Oops, we didn't get it right the first time, but I'm sure you suckers won't mind buying more crap to fix our inability to deliver motion tracking the first time." I won't even bother bitching about the stupid microphone attachment that they expect me to purchase and set on top of my tv, presumably on top of my wii censor bar, so that i can listen to a room full of idiots scream profanities at me. Oops, I just did. I honestly think that Nintendo felt that their final presentation, which involved a retarded man flailing his arms about while making embarrassing orgasm faces, was supposed to take us all by surprise, and leave us feeling that Nintendo was a company comprised entirely of video-game-einsteins. Wii Music, the game that we've all known about since before the Wii came out, is finally coming out some time in the not so distant future, and boy does it look like a gimmicky bunch of mini games! Sweet, what a surprise coming from the people that brought us Wii Sports and Wii Fit.
Sony, unlike Nintendo, started off with some strong showings, but petered out towards the end. Resistance 2 was looking excellent, and the small demo they built with Little Big Planet to show of their latest numbers was impressive. To that point I felt that Sony was having a good show, but things fell off sharply at that point, in much the same way that a man running off a cliff falls off sharply. Sony made an effort to show that they could compete on a toe to toe basis with the media offerings of Microsoft, and constantly pushed the fact that they were the only platform that would let you copy your media to a portable player, like your PSP, but it felt like a gasp of desperation more then aught else. As if PSP's don't have enough storage problems with their exceedingly expensive Memory Sticks already without adding giant movies to the party. I'm not sure what made Sony think that this feature was something to be impressed by, but they kept trying to hammer it home. Of course, before that, we were treated to a long segment on how great the PS2 is, and how we should all be excited about the new bundle they're going to release this holiday season. Sony seems to be having some trouble getting out of last generation and applying themselves to the current one, much the way your a vietnam vet is still having trouble getting out of the jungle. Towards the end of their presentation they made the stunning revelation that God of War III was indeed in the works, and coming out next year (OH FUCKING WOW!!!), showed a brief teaser, and then made their show saving announcement; M.A.G. (Massive Action Game). When I say "show saving" I really mean "anti climactic." The clip they showed of M.A.G. was prerendered (which was obvious from the cinematic camera angles), and managed to look like a upgraded knock off of Battlefield, while promising that it would have hundreds of people involved in the same battle. This may sound like a noble concept, but I don't believe for a minute that it will be well executed. Does anyone remember Planetside?
Microsoft started off strong as well, showcasing their core games right out the gate, but their presentation faltered through the center when they tried to stun us all with their cheap knock of Nintendo's Mii characters, and a rather uninspired reimagining of their system's dashboard. The best part about their uninspired reimaging of the dashboard is that it renders all the money paying customers have spent on gamerpics and themes, null! Thank you for making my waste of money in an even larger waste of money, Microsoft. Guess I won't be buying anymore themes, despite the fact that you are still selling them in the market place, and probably will be up to the point that you make them obsolete. What is far more exciting than my wasted dollars, is that I will no longer be able to have a picture that somewhat reflects my interests to represent myself on Xbox Live. Instead I will be forced to have an ugly-piece-of-shit avatar, that might impress a five year for all of two minutes, attached to my online personality. What the fuck, Microsoft? That is about the least cool thing you have ever done, including Micrsoft ME. Fuck you. Fuck you heartily. Microsoft did manage to end on a strong point, however, by announcing that they would be getting Final Fantasy XIII for a simultaneous North American release. While it's not really earth-shattering news to those who don't care about Final Fantsy, for those thinking of buying a PS3 just to play the game, there is now another, cheaper, option available, and that had to hurt Sony (which by their grumbling, it did indeed).
Anyway, that's my E3 rant.
That is all.
Fox
*EDIT* Apparently Microsoft has announced that themes will be carried over to their new dash, no word on gamer pics though.
Nintendo failed the hardest, with their biggest announcements consisting of another crappy Guitar Hero game for the DS, and a bunch of games we already knew were in the works. The closest thing they had to a highlight was the Animal Crossing exhibition, and showing off yet another peripherial (Motionplus) that they expect us all to buy for our system. As if they hadn't already shoved enough hardware down our throats with the release of the wii-shitty-crossbow atachment, the wii-shitty-steering-wheel atatchment, and the wii-scale-plus-mini-games, they now expect us to buy a Motionplus for each and every Wii mote that we have, so that we can experience true 1:1 motion tracking. Call me a stickler, but that seems a lot like saying, "Oops, we didn't get it right the first time, but I'm sure you suckers won't mind buying more crap to fix our inability to deliver motion tracking the first time." I won't even bother bitching about the stupid microphone attachment that they expect me to purchase and set on top of my tv, presumably on top of my wii censor bar, so that i can listen to a room full of idiots scream profanities at me. Oops, I just did. I honestly think that Nintendo felt that their final presentation, which involved a retarded man flailing his arms about while making embarrassing orgasm faces, was supposed to take us all by surprise, and leave us feeling that Nintendo was a company comprised entirely of video-game-einsteins. Wii Music, the game that we've all known about since before the Wii came out, is finally coming out some time in the not so distant future, and boy does it look like a gimmicky bunch of mini games! Sweet, what a surprise coming from the people that brought us Wii Sports and Wii Fit.
Sony, unlike Nintendo, started off with some strong showings, but petered out towards the end. Resistance 2 was looking excellent, and the small demo they built with Little Big Planet to show of their latest numbers was impressive. To that point I felt that Sony was having a good show, but things fell off sharply at that point, in much the same way that a man running off a cliff falls off sharply. Sony made an effort to show that they could compete on a toe to toe basis with the media offerings of Microsoft, and constantly pushed the fact that they were the only platform that would let you copy your media to a portable player, like your PSP, but it felt like a gasp of desperation more then aught else. As if PSP's don't have enough storage problems with their exceedingly expensive Memory Sticks already without adding giant movies to the party. I'm not sure what made Sony think that this feature was something to be impressed by, but they kept trying to hammer it home. Of course, before that, we were treated to a long segment on how great the PS2 is, and how we should all be excited about the new bundle they're going to release this holiday season. Sony seems to be having some trouble getting out of last generation and applying themselves to the current one, much the way your a vietnam vet is still having trouble getting out of the jungle. Towards the end of their presentation they made the stunning revelation that God of War III was indeed in the works, and coming out next year (OH FUCKING WOW!!!), showed a brief teaser, and then made their show saving announcement; M.A.G. (Massive Action Game). When I say "show saving" I really mean "anti climactic." The clip they showed of M.A.G. was prerendered (which was obvious from the cinematic camera angles), and managed to look like a upgraded knock off of Battlefield, while promising that it would have hundreds of people involved in the same battle. This may sound like a noble concept, but I don't believe for a minute that it will be well executed. Does anyone remember Planetside?
Microsoft started off strong as well, showcasing their core games right out the gate, but their presentation faltered through the center when they tried to stun us all with their cheap knock of Nintendo's Mii characters, and a rather uninspired reimagining of their system's dashboard. The best part about their uninspired reimaging of the dashboard is that it renders all the money paying customers have spent on gamerpics and themes, null! Thank you for making my waste of money in an even larger waste of money, Microsoft. Guess I won't be buying anymore themes, despite the fact that you are still selling them in the market place, and probably will be up to the point that you make them obsolete. What is far more exciting than my wasted dollars, is that I will no longer be able to have a picture that somewhat reflects my interests to represent myself on Xbox Live. Instead I will be forced to have an ugly-piece-of-shit avatar, that might impress a five year for all of two minutes, attached to my online personality. What the fuck, Microsoft? That is about the least cool thing you have ever done, including Micrsoft ME. Fuck you. Fuck you heartily. Microsoft did manage to end on a strong point, however, by announcing that they would be getting Final Fantasy XIII for a simultaneous North American release. While it's not really earth-shattering news to those who don't care about Final Fantsy, for those thinking of buying a PS3 just to play the game, there is now another, cheaper, option available, and that had to hurt Sony (which by their grumbling, it did indeed).
Anyway, that's my E3 rant.
That is all.
Fox
*EDIT* Apparently Microsoft has announced that themes will be carried over to their new dash, no word on gamer pics though.
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3 comments:
Still wasted money.
the gamer pics i mean
http://nintendoe32008.ytmnd.com/
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